By Raj Mistry
Be Your Own Therapist
Do you think you’re good at helping people?
Good at listening.
Good at giving advice.
Good at guiding others when they’re stuck.
Now ask yourself something uncomfortable:
Do you give the same advice to yourself when you’re in a similar situation?
And more importantly—do you follow it?
Most of us don’t.
As humans, we are strange that way. We can clearly see solutions when someone else is struggling, yet feel completely lost when the problem is our own. We give advice that we know works, but when it comes time to apply it to our own life, we ignore it and look outward—hoping someone else will fix things for us.
It’s ironic.
We trust our advice for others, but doubt it for ourselves.
Somewhere deep down, we believe our own ideas aren’t good enough for us—even though they’re perfectly fine for everyone else.
Why We Don’t Follow Our Own Advice
When we help others, we’re calm. Detached. Emotionally neutral.
But when it’s our own life, emotions hijack the process.
Fear, ego, anxiety, and self-doubt enter the room.
That’s why advice feels easier when it’s for someone else. We’re not emotionally invested in their outcome the way we are in our own. We don’t feel their fear in our body. We don’t carry their consequences.
And because of that, our thinking becomes clearer.
This is why some of the best advice you’ve ever given has come naturally—without overthinking. You already know what to do. The problem is not lack of knowledge. It’s lack of trust in yourself.
A Simple Mental Shift That Changes Everything
Next time you’re stuck, try this:
Imagine your close friend is going through exactly the same situation you’re in right now.
Same problem. Same emotions. Same confusion.
What would you tell them?
Would you tell them to panic?
To overthink?
To give up?
Of course not.
You’d probably tell them to slow down.
Breathe.
Look at the situation clearly.
Take one small step instead of trying to solve everything at once.
Now comes the hard part:
Do the same for yourself.
Follow your own advice.
In my experience, we already carry most of the answers we’re searching for. They appear naturally when the mind is calm—especially when we’re thinking for someone else. That clarity doesn’t disappear when the problem becomes personal; it just gets buried under emotion.
If You Can’t Follow Your Own Advice, Pause
Here’s a blunt truth—said with honesty, not judgment:
If you consistently give advice that you never follow yourself, people eventually stop taking you seriously.
Because people don’t respect words.
They respect actions.
Don’t be the person who lectures others about discipline while lacking it themselves.
Don’t be the person who talks about mindfulness but lives in constant chaos.
Don’t be the person who advises honesty but avoids their own truth.
Advice has weight only when it’s lived.
Otherwise, it becomes noise.
You Know Yourself Better Than Anyone Else
No one understands your limits, patterns, triggers, and strengths better than you do.
Others can guide you. Support you. Offer perspective.
But no one can live your life for you.
It’s your responsibility to decide what works and what doesn’t.
Yes, asking for help is healthy.
But blindly outsourcing every decision isn’t.
At some point, you have to trust yourself enough to say:
“This is my life. I’ll take responsibility for it.”
And that responsibility starts with listening to your own wisdom.
Be Your Own Therapist—Practically
You don’t need dramatic solutions. Start small.
Slow your breathing when emotions spike.
Step away from noise.
Give yourself space to think.
You won’t get clarity instantly. That’s okay.
Clarity often arrives step by step, not all at once.
And when it does, it usually sounds familiar—because it’s the same advice you’ve been giving to others all along.
Final Thought
If you’re capable of guiding others through difficult moments, you’re capable of guiding yourself too.
Stop underestimating your own voice.
Stop waiting for someone else to validate your thoughts.
Be your own therapist—not by pretending you have all the answers, but by trusting that you can find them.
Sometimes, the best advice you’ll ever receive…
is the one you already know.
